写作原文

　　From the picture we can see a young father died on the patient bed for the sake of overwork and his wife is crying and mourning for him with extreme sadness,so it is with their child.What a shocked scene and how thought provoking the phenomenon that the picture insinuates.What the picture intends to convey is the significance of the awareness of health.With the development of society,people commence to live in a life of a rapid rate.They almost have no time to do some entertainments other than work.Inhence,they dont have enough time to get enough rest.Moreover,because of the life burden,some husbands need to work hard to sustain their families.Some husbands even have more than one job and they are overwhelmed by the strains.Last but not least,some people dont place an emphasis on their health and almost ignore it in daily lives.What they leave to their family members is grief.From my standpoint,it is imperative that effective measures should be taken to eliminate the phenomenon.For governments,they are supposed to make some accordingly policies to relieve the workers pressure.For workers,they must cultivate a good awareness of health and combine exertion and rest.

　　总体点评

　　文章写得还不错!但是应当注意词汇选择的准确性及句子的精简。以后的写作中，还是应该加强基础的语法知识，积累并模仿高分语言佳句，使自己的表达更地道更优美?？醋拍愕淖魑囊惶焯煸诮?，我们为你感到高兴，要继续加油哦，坚持就是胜利，祝你考研成功!

　　写作原文

　　From the picture we can see a young father died on the patient bed for the sake of overwork and his wife is crying and mourning for him with extreme sadness,so it is with their child.What a shocked scene and how thought provoking the phenomenon that the picture insinuates.What the picture intends to convey is the significance of the awareness of health.With the development of society,people commence to live in a life of a rapid rate.They almost have no time to do some entertainments other than work.Inhence,they dont have enough time to get enough rest.Moreover,because of the life burden,some husbands need to work hard to sustain their families.Some husbands even have more than one job and they are overwhelmed by the strains.Last but not least,some people dont place an emphasis on their health and almost ignore it in daily lives.What they leave to their family members is grief.From my standpoint,it is imperative that effective measures should be taken to eliminate the phenomenon.For governments,they are supposed to make some accordingly policies to relieve the workers pressure.For workers,they must cultivate a good awareness of health and combine exertion and rest.

　　总体点评

　　文章写得还不错!但是应当注意词汇选择的准确性及句子的精简。以后的写作中，还是应该加强基础的语法知识，积累并模仿高分语言佳句，使自己的表达更地道更优美?？醋拍愕淖魑囊惶焯煸诮剑颐俏愀械礁咝?，要继续加油哦，坚持就是胜利，祝你考研成功!