高中英语语法-习作评析（10）之一
习作评析（10）之一
习作题目
下列图画描述了查尔斯太太为丈夫买上衣后的经历，请根据图画内容，用英语写一篇 90-120 词左右的短文，以便刊登在 GUIDE TO ENGLISH TESTS 上。
注意：
1. 题目自拟：
2. 短文应包括图中要点。
学生原文
Mr Charles and His New Shirt
One day Mrs Charles went to a store， she went up and down in the store and at ① last bought a beautifil shirt for her husband. When she went back to home ② with the shirt， her husband was smoking in the sofa with a newspaper in his hand. Mrs Charles asked her husband to try out ③ the new shirt， but it was too large. Suddenly she came upon ④ good idea. She put the shirt into a basin of hot water， ⑤ then asked her husband to put on it ⑥ ， but it was too small now， which made Charles quite ⑦ unhappy. When their son saw this， he made fun of his father. Then Mrs Charles had to ask her son to try on the shirt， ⑧ but it was too large for the little boy. Mr Charles couldn't help laughing at this.
名师点评
本文是一篇记叙文，考生能够领会图画的大体意思，并能捕捉到图中的细节，用连贯的语言记叙故事内容；考生文笔较为流畅，有的句子用词简洁，能很好的表达图画的内容，如：对第二幅图的描写。
但该生的习作尚有需要改进之处，对第一幅图（ she went up and down in the store and at last ）的描述似有画蛇添足之嫌；第四、五幅图的过渡有点突然；文中让干都用了 ask sb. to do ，让人感觉用词呆板；文中个别句子有语法错误，需进一步规范自己的语言。文中错误改正如下：
1. she went up and down in the store， and at last bought 改为 and bought ，此处多余； at last 表示感情色彩，而此处没有这种意境。
2. to home 改为 home， home 在此是副词，其前不用介词。
3. try out 改为 try on . try out 译为试用、试验， try on 译为试穿，在这一句中两个短语动词的误用，可能是因为作者粗心所致，在后半部分用了正确的短语。
4. good idea 前边 a， idea 是可数名词。
5. hot water 后边添加 dried it ，表示连续的动作，如果缺少这一动作，此处的两个动作在意义上产生矛盾。
6. put on it 改为 put it on . put on 是动词 + 副词的短语动词，当其宾语是人称代词时，人称代词置于动词和副词之间。
7. quiet 改为 quite .两个形似词的误用，考生应该在成文后，认真检查，以减少不必要的失误。
8. had to askto 改为 made her son try on .在第六幅画的情景中，没有 Mrs Charles 不得不的意境。
精品范文
Mr Charles and His New Shirt
One day Mrs Charles went to a department store and bought a beautifil shirt for her husband. When she got back home with the shirt her husband was smoking in the sofa with a newspaper in his hand. Mrs Charles asked her husband to try on the news shirt， but it was too large. Suddenly she came upon a good idea. She put the shirt into a basin of hot water， dried it and asked her husband to put it on， but it was too small， which made Charles quite unhappy. When their son saw this， he made fun of his father. Then Mrs Charles made her son try on the new shirt， but it was too large for the little boy. Mr Charles couldn't help laughing at this.
精品题目
1
小华因病卧床多日，老师天天去为她补课。今天是教师节，老师照例来到了小华家。请根据所给提示和图画内容，用英语写一篇 100 词左右的短文，题目自拟。
2
一天 Dick 到公园玩耍，他看见一个青年坐在凳子上，边看报纸边把糖果扔到地上。他决定教训一下这个人。
请根据图画内容，用英语写一篇 100 词左右的短文，以便刊登在 Shanghai Students' Post 刊物上。题目自拟。
3
根据下列图画所示，请你用英语将所发生的故事写出来。词数 100 左右。
4
你们的英语老师将于明晚 7 ： 00 在家举行晚会，邀请全班同学参加。现请你根据老师给你的图示，写一则通知，告诉同学们老师的家怎么走。出发地点是学校。全篇词数： 80-100 .
5
根据图表和文字提示，用英语写一篇说明此表的短文。内容包括：
1. 图表显示 1998 年至 2000 年 C 国和 S 国粮食生产的情况；
2. 在 C 国， 1999 年谷物减产，小麦增产。在 S 国，小麦产量一目了然，谷物产量不变；
3. S 国三年总产比 C 国高；
4. 两国总产顶峰在 1998 年， 1999 年下降， 2000 年回升；
5. 如没灾害 S 国要比 C 国生产力强。
6
上星期五下午放学回家的路上，你目睹了一起抢劫案并设法帮助受害人追回了被抢的手提包。请根据图画内容写一篇短文，介绍整个事件的始末。
注意：
①短文须包括所有情节。
②词数 100 左右。
③短文开头已为你写好。
生词：图钉 push-pin ；刺破： puncture
7
假设你叫李华。下列图画描述你的一次经历。请根据图画内容用英语写一篇短文。
①短文必须包括图画内容，可以适当增减细节，使故事连贯。
8
假设你是福州某中学的学生李华，下列六幅图画描述了你一家参加的一次活动。请根据这些图画用
习作评析（10）之一
习作题目
下列图画描述了查尔斯太太为丈夫买上衣后的经历，请根据图画内容，用英语写一篇 90-120 词左右的短文，以便刊登在 GUIDE TO ENGLISH TESTS 上。
注意：
1. 题目自拟：
2. 短文应包括图中要点。
学生原文
Mr Charles and His New Shirt
One day Mrs Charles went to a store， she went up and down in the store and at ① last bought a beautifil shirt for her husband. When she went back to home ② with the shirt， her husband was smoking in the sofa with a newspaper in his hand. Mrs Charles asked her husband to try out ③ the new shirt， but it was too large. Suddenly she came upon ④ good idea. She put the shirt into a basin of hot water， ⑤ then asked her husband to put on it ⑥ ， but it was too small now， which made Charles quite ⑦ unhappy. When their son saw this， he made fun of his father. Then Mrs Charles had to ask her son to try on the shirt， ⑧ but it was too large for the little boy. Mr Charles couldn't help laughing at this.
名师点评
本文是一篇记叙文，考生能够领会图画的大体意思，并能捕捉到图中的细节，用连贯的语言记叙故事内容；考生文笔较为流畅，有的句子用词简洁，能很好的表达图画的内容，如：对第二幅图的描写。
但该生的习作尚有需要改进之处，对第一幅图（ she went up and down in the store and at last ）的描述似有画蛇添足之嫌；第四、五幅图的过渡有点突然；文中让干都用了 ask sb. to do ，让人感觉用词呆板；文中个别句子有语法错误，需进一步规范自己的语言。文中错误改正如下：
1. she went up and down in the store， and at last bought 改为 and bought ，此处多余； at last 表示感情色彩，而此处没有这种意境。
2. to home 改为 home， home 在此是副词，其前不用介词。
3. try out 改为 try on . try out 译为试用、试验， try on 译为试穿，在这一句中两个短语动词的误用，可能是因为作者粗心所致，在后半部分用了正确的短语。
4. good idea 前边 a， idea 是可数名词。
5. hot water 后边添加 dried it ，表示连续的动作，如果缺少这一动作，此处的两个动作在意义上产生矛盾。
6. put on it 改为 put it on . put on 是动词 + 副词的短语动词，当其宾语是人称代词时，人称代词置于动词和副词之间。
7. quiet 改为 quite .两个形似词的误用，考生应该在成文后，认真检查，以减少不必要的失误。
8. had to askto 改为 made her son try on .在第六幅画的情景中，没有 Mrs Charles 不得不的意境。
精品范文
Mr Charles and His New Shirt
One day Mrs Charles went to a department store and bought a beautifil shirt for her husband. When she got back home with the shirt her husband was smoking in the sofa with a newspaper in his hand. Mrs Charles asked her husband to try on the news shirt， but it was too large. Suddenly she came upon a good idea. She put the shirt into a basin of hot water， dried it and asked her husband to put it on， but it was too small， which made Charles quite unhappy. When their son saw this， he made fun of his father. Then Mrs Charles made her son try on the new shirt， but it was too large for the little boy. Mr Charles couldn't help laughing at this.
精品题目
1
小华因病卧床多日，老师天天去为她补课。今天是教师节，老师照例来到了小华家。请根据所给提示和图画内容，用英语写一篇 100 词左右的短文，题目自拟。
2
一天 Dick 到公园玩耍，他看见一个青年坐在凳子上，边看报纸边把糖果扔到地上。他决定教训一下这个人。
请根据图画内容，用英语写一篇 100 词左右的短文，以便刊登在 Shanghai Students' Post 刊物上。题目自拟。
3
根据下列图画所示，请你用英语将所发生的故事写出来。词数 100 左右。
4
你们的英语老师将于明晚 7 ： 00 在家举行晚会，邀请全班同学参加。现请你根据老师给你的图示，写一则通知，告诉同学们老师的家怎么走。出发地点是学校。全篇词数： 80-100 .
5
根据图表和文字提示，用英语写一篇说明此表的短文。内容包括：
1. 图表显示 1998 年至 2000 年 C 国和 S 国粮食生产的情况；
2. 在 C 国， 1999 年谷物减产，小麦增产。在 S 国，小麦产量一目了然，谷物产量不变；
3. S 国三年总产比 C 国高；
4. 两国总产顶峰在 1998 年， 1999 年下降， 2000 年回升；
5. 如没灾害 S 国要比 C 国生产力强。
6
上星期五下午放学回家的路上，你目睹了一起抢劫案并设法帮助受害人追回了被抢的手提包。请根据图画内容写一篇短文，介绍整个事件的始末。
注意：
①短文须包括所有情节。
②词数 100 左右。
③短文开头已为你写好。
生词：图钉 push-pin ；刺破： puncture
7
假设你叫李华。下列图画描述你的一次经历。请根据图画内容用英语写一篇短文。
①短文必须包括图画内容，可以适当增减细节，使故事连贯。
8
假设你是福州某中学的学生李华，下列六幅图画描述了你一家参加的一次活动。请根据这些图画用
